Hello all,
It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. In fact, I’ve hemmed and hawed for several days over how to introduce this post. Creative time is extremely valuable to me, and sometimes I forget that I don’t need to prove to myself that I am living creatively with anything concrete.
Creativity is in the strength of your morning cup of coffee, it’s in the route you take to work and the maneuvering sidesteps on the sidewalk to dodge oncoming pedestrians. It’s in the way you communicate with friends during deep conversations, the texts you send, the work you do. It’s in the way you dress yourself each day, it’s in your facial expressions. It’s in every homemade breakfast, lunch and dinner and it’s in the lyrics you invent to the beat of your favorite song. It’s in the pictures you take. It’s the essence of everything you hear and everything you see.
Anytime you improvise anything, you are acting in accordance with creativity. Nothing was there, and now something is. You’re the common factor. It’s you who makes the moment. It’s you who performs the magic.
I like to think of my life as a water well. I am the hydrologist, the geologist and the technician. I am responsible for managing the resources that produce the highest quality water. I am expected to determine the best locations for drilling. I operate the machinery, running daily tests and making tweaks to ensure all the equipment is working appropriately.
I’ve advertised myself as a dependable supplier of water. In this analogy, the water is the energy and effort required to sustain progress along each of my life’s missions. The water is the air I breathe, it’s the thoughts I choose, it’s the content I consume… it’s the shaping of my depth and the offering of whatever it is that I have to give to the infinitude of the world outside me.
Sometimes, it only takes a single day for me to experience a lifetime’s worth of emotions. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by how much I want to do and how little time I seem to have.
So instead of elongating the preface out of some misguided service to soothe my ego, I think I’ll just summarize the events of the last month in the form of a few poems…
These poems are the water. I’ve profoundly enjoyed mining for every single drop.
It might not be the book I want to write, and it might not mean I am completely fluent in Spanish. It might not mean that every single meal I eat is nutritionally balanced or I’ve added 10 pounds of muscle to my frame. It might not mean that every relationship is flawless and every moment is fluid and it certainly does not convince me that there’s even enough time in a life…
But it does mean that I am sustaining my life’s missions.
…
A Love Poem
I met a girl and I care for her deeply. Even though it scares me, I tell her all the time.
I’ve also found a city that stimulates every creative impulse I never knew I had.
Her (the girl) and it (the city), let me be all the different parts of me that inevitably, I am. They inspire me. They make me laugh. They make me think. They make me grow.
I am so grateful for them both.
The following poem is imperfect, like me. And still, I write this poem for them.
Title: Good Morning, Madrid, And Good Morning To You, Too
People everywhere, all the time Drinking black coffee, sipping red wine Rising each morning, resting each night Searching for meaning, longing for light Stoic streets meet walking gaits While poets write and contemplate The story of today and the past of tomorrow The why behind this and that when time is only borrowed A sun rises, a tree shakes A feeling forms and evaporates A heart fills, a mind quiets A joke is made, we laugh about it I offer all I am, though I know I’m made of glass I fear that I’ll go stale, like winter’s dying grass How many words are left before the message brittles? None, she says. Somehow, it’s never too many and always too little To a city, I am, what a city is to me Inhabitant. Inhabited. A spirit roaming free To a girl, I am, what a girl needs me to be A place to sleep, a place to smile, a place to live a dream I may be here You may be there But what we share Lives everywhere I might say go, you might say rest I might say no, you might say yes Whatever I say, I say with all my chest To Madrid, to Madeleine, you are the very best
…
A Nature Poem
I am inspired by people, and I am inspired by nature. This past weekend, I was blessed to experience the impact of both, checking every box I need to check in order to feel full and to feel grateful.
I find that I write the cleanest lines the morning after an extended participation with the world. I know my depth perils in comparison to all that lives outside of me, but I offer what I have anyway. And in the morning, I’ve had some time to sit with what I’ve seen, to talk about it with friends, even to dream.
Sometimes, I’m compelled to slap my fingers onto a screen, writing the words or phrases that come to mind in my notes app while I trudging up a mountain. This often leads to stumbles and stubbed toes. So it goes. This is the price one pays to work with words.
These poems always start there, and they slowly build into my conscious world and I tweak and piddle until I have something worth giving to you. More importantly, until I have something worth giving to me.
Title: The Magnitude of Mountains
Waterfalls, mountains, trees and leaves Vonnegut, Bukowski, Whitman and Nietzshe My heart wears the sky while stone sifts beneath my feet To the top, I venture, it’s the top that I will reach Oh, dear world, How blessed I am to thank you How daring it is to call you my home Oh, dear friendship, Your shared nostalgia for the rearview The mundane made memorable out of urgency to grow The rest of us exist only because we are together The sense of self I seize demands that you are there I don’t understand the expression, “under the weather…” Are we not always under it? Housed in nature’s lair? I hear through sights and see through sounds Melodic switchbacks waltz upon a rocky ground The clash of wind and water builds a bridge into the endless I claim ascents at every turn, exchanging lungs for something breathless Moonlight hums a symphony at dusk Sunsets sing in every shade of autumn Birds converse in chirps and warbles Finally, at the top, I forget about the bottom Up here I see all the life that came before I witness history as it’s made. I speak in nature’s roar I inhale strokes of apparitions that will always go unseen Because I’m here, I make the moment. I complete the space between.
…
A Comedy Poem
Cracked out after Spanish class, I decided to write a poem. A messy mind makes messy art. And messy art is worth creating.
Title: Poet or Comedian? Likely Neither
Beautiful, thank you Daddy’s here to spank you What? Did you say something? Why… Did you say something… Well, the madness is delirious And they tell me I’m not serious When I’m feeling all this sadness Because I lost my favorite sunglasses. God dammit. Not again. Is that something? Is she a ten? I can hardly remember when I became a wizard with this pen Jokes are told and forms ignored Dirty dishes are such a chore A towels fuzzies shed on my face A student curses without a bit of grace One is funny because they are noticeable Not because what one notices is wrong Love is worth it because it’s unexplainable Not because one thinks the lonely days are gone I know not why I say what I think I know not why I think what I say I know I like when glasses clink I know that everything will be okay So off I go to write new stanzas Off I go into new ways of life I lost my third-grade spelling bee on the word bonanza Do you think, in third-grade, that you could spell it right?
…
Somebody Else’s Poem
Lastly, here’s an incredible fucking poem I stumbled on. I was moved to tears upon reading it for the first time several weeks ago. It’s far better than any poetry of mine, but thankfully, poetry, and art, is not a contest of comparison. It’s not a contest at all. It’s not a means to an end.
It’s a reason a live. And one’s reasons to live cannot be disputed. Cannot be refuted. Cannot be considered astray…
Title: What If It All Goes Right
What if it all goes right? What if you don’t get fired What if you find the love you deserve and it lasts What if your plane lands safely What if everyone shows up to your party What if the recipe turns out great What if you don’t disappoint them What if they love you anyway What if you’ve got so much time left What if you talked just the right amount What if everyone had a great time because you were there What if you take that chance and it works out What if time keeps passing and it’s wonderful What if you don’t regret telling them What if you don’t remember any of this What if your grief makes you stronger What if the end of that isn’t the end of you What if you exceed all expectations What if the kids turn out just fine What if your trust doesn’t get betrayed What if that wasn’t a waste of time after all What if you’re not alone forever What if you’re not only enough but the perfect amount What if you were hopeful as often as you are worried What if changing the narrative changed your entire perspective What if it all goes right?
…
JISM (Sign-Off):
So, what do you think? Is there enough time in a life? How are you so sure? What’s worth living for? No. What’s worth dying for, today? What would you be willing to die for today?
Are you doing enough of it?
…
With love,
Raig
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