To write is to make words appear. The magic is there weren’t words, and then there were. And then there are. And then there always will be. Like music. Sounds that didn’t exist suddenly emerge and somehow never fade away, imprinting a feeling on you that is tied to a moment in time. Tied to an event in your life. Tied to your daily commute. Tied to an experience that means more because it had an unexpected soundtrack. Like movies. A series of images compiled through a miracle of collaboration. A camera capturing a world that gives you permission to escape your own. A story that grips you tightly and never lets you go. A series of lines you will spend the rest of your life repeating.
To create is a mystifying endeavor. Every second of every day, there is somebody, somewhere, chipping away at their masterpiece.
An author sits on his bedroom floor amongst a sea of loose-leaf pages. He carefully distributes each page across the carpet and crafts the structure of his first novel, seeing the sequence of scenes so clearly for the very first time.
A rapper finally saves enough money to book time at a local music studio. Suddenly, the words he’s been reciting his whole life at bus stops and at house parties are poured soulfully into a microphone, recorded and brought to life.
Two comedians order omelettes at a diner after midnight and exchange joke premises. They workshop their material on the remaining patrons and waitresses. Every joke kills.
A group of friends order dirty chai lattes at a coffee shop and begin blue-skying potential ideas for the movie they want to write about their post-college RV Trip. The memories they recover are unforgettable, and excitement builds as they decide it’s a story worth writing.
I like to imagine these moments of breakthrough. Regular people doing extraordinary things.
And that’s what I love about movies. A group of people, carefully assembled and committed to an idea, assign each other specific roles and agree to fulfill their responsibility for a period of time until the idea is successfully depicted on screen.
What a miraculous thing.
When I watch a movie, I need absolute focus and attention.
I want to feel every moment and hear every line. Every decision made by the actors and the director and the writers and the crew was made with intention. I want to give that group of people every opportunity to bring me along the little world they created. I am honored to be there.
And I want to experience how that movie makes me feel. That’s what we remember, anyway. I want to admire great performances and repeat memorable lines and fixate on beautiful scenes.
So how about A Top 10 Comedies List from the 2000s? How ‘bout it! I don’t know. Why not, you know. Whole lotta setup for a simple list of movies you’ve already seen, but fuck it. Fuck you! Ha!
It’s extremely hard for me to resist dedicating this piece to Comedies of the Romantic descent. I’m a shameless fanatic of the genre. Love and laughter are pillars of my vision of a happy life.
But I actually wrote the skeleton of this article during my time at the University of Virginia’s school newspaper, The Cavalier Daily. So, I figured I’d connect with my roots.
A movie buff, I am.
Familiar favorites, these will be.
This is a reminder to re-discover the brilliance of the films you’ve already fallen in love with.
Sometimes I find myself hunting for the next best thing. The next movie that will blow my mind. The indecision on what to watch forces me to navigate between streaming services like I’m lost in a cinematic labyrinth, compelled by brief descriptions and 45 second excerpts that give me just enough courage to write the title down in my list of movies to watch but not enough courage to just press play. As if the next two hours of my life are so important.
Often times, that title collects digital dust in my Notes App for months to come, and the cycle repeats itself the next time I decide to watch a film.
A waste of time, this is.
I’ve learned that every single movie has something brilliant to offer. And those that have already offered you something brilliant are not going anywhere. Movies are cemented in time. Relics of history. Narrative artifacts that can connect with you in different ways not because it has changed, but because you have.
I’ve commenced the effort of re-watching the movies that made laugh, think and cry the first time around.
These are the movies that shaped me. They are infinitely re-watchable, forever quotable, and representative of the type of comedy movie that doesn’t get made anymore.
They are the movies that kept me entertained across my adolescent years. In fact, my comedic sensibilities might be completely different without them.
So, let us embrace debate about my second favorite genre of film, the Comedy.
PS.
Is popcorn borderline too crunchy to eat during a movie? There’s nothing worse than a snack that crunches so loud you cannot hear the dialogue. Sometimes I need to turn on the subtitles if I’m having an unavoidable crunchy snack. I generally like subtitles, but it depends on the movie. Also, the snack might be Tostitos Hint of Lime Tortilla Chips. Those motherfuckers are the fucking crack and the fucking cocaine. The fucking crack cocaine.
Okay, here we go:
I love you, Man (2009)
Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) is getting married. Leading up to his wedding day, he realizes he has always been a girlfriend guy, and has no close guy friends to consider for his best man. He begins a quest to find friends until Sydney Fife (Jason Segal) enters the picture. A hysterical bromance ensues.
QUOTES:
“You got it, Jobin”
“No laj between the vag, huh?” “What does that mean?” “No lag time between vaginas”
“I will see you there or I will see you on another time.” “That was very confusing, I don’t know if you’re gonna come or not.”
“Laters on the menjay”
Wedding Crashers (2005)
John (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy (Vince Vaughn) tag-team this hilarious tale of divorce mediators/best friends who crash weddings. When John finds himself breaking the rules of wedding crashers and falling in love with a high-profile politician’s daughter, his identity and lifelong friendship with Jeremy is tested.
QUOTES:
“You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me”
“Dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot!”
“You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!”
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) is a washed-up movie star who seeks a rebirth in the most expensive war movie ever produced. To the dismay of him and the rest of the cast, including acting phenom Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), the group finds themselves in the middle of a very real war in a very real jungle.
QUOTES:
“You went full retard, man. Never go full retard”
“I know who I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!”
“Dammit, I’m Alpa Chino! ‘I love tha pussy,’ aight!”
“Drink Booty Sweat, baby! Drink Booty Sweat!” “Yeah, get him chuggin’ on some of Alpa’s ass water. That’ll bring him around. It’s a cure-all…”
Step Brothers (2008)
Brennan (Will Ferrell) and Dale (John C. Reilly) are middle-aged losers who have never left home. When their parents meet and marry, they are forced to become 40-year-old step-brothers. Their friendship falters quickly, and a farcical drama ensues.
QUOTES:
“I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins… It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazing that shit up every day”
“Are bonita fish big?”
“This house is a fucking prison!” “On planet bullshit!” “In the galaxy of this sucks camel dicks!”
“Did we just become bets friends?” “Yep!” “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” “Yep!”
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Peter Bretter (Jason Segal) is left by his movie star girlfriend and seeks escape in Hawaii. To his surprise, Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell) is also vacationing at the same retreat with her new lover and rock icon Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). Peter encounters new love and self-discovery during his quest to get over Sarah Marshall.
QUOTES:
“When life gives you lemons, say fuck the lemons and bail”
“Oh the weather outside is weather”
“I like her hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes”
“Maybe the problem is you broke my heart into a million pieces and my cock doesn’t want to be around you anymore, okay?”
Superbad (2007)
High school seniors Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) hope to solidify their high school experience and bolster their popularity by attending a massive house party. Tasked with providing alcohol, the mission quickly faces complications, and the story that ensues is relatable and uproarious.
QUOTES:
“Never mind I’ll just go fuck myself”
“At first I didn’t know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.”
“The funny thing about my back is that it’s located on my cock”
The Hangover (2009)
An absolutely classic tale of a group of friends (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis) who lose their best friend and future groom (Justin Bartha) during their pre-wedding stag party in Las Vegas.
QUOTES:
“Why do you think we can’t remember anything from last night?”
“You probably get this a lot. This isn’t the real Caesar’s Palace, is it?”
“Hey guys, you ready to let the dogs out?”
“Driving drunk. Classic!”
Pineapple Express (2008)
Dale Denton (Seth Rogan) and his drug dealer (James Franco) find themselves way over their heads in the middle of a drug war in this laughable tale of friends and enemies.
QUOTES:
“Couscous, the food so nice they named it twice!”
“The monkey’s out of the bottle now… Pandora can’t go back in the box”
“I wanna be inside you, homes”
“They say, like, don’t dip the pen in company ink. I’m totally glad I dipped in your ink, bro”
Swingers (1996) … (so not the 2000’s, sue me)
Mike Peters (John Favreau) recently moved from New York to LA and is struggling to boost his comedy career and get over his last relationship. Mike’s buddy, Trent Walker (Vince Vaughn), tries to get him out of the rut by getting the attention of beautiful women.
QUOTES:
“Come on baby, there will be beautiful babies there”
“You’re so money and you don’t even know it”
“There ain’t nothing wrong with letting a girl know that you’re money, and that you want to party”
The Big Lebowski (1998) … (also not the 2000’s, eat a dick)
Jeff ‘The Dude” Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) is mistaken for a shady, millionaire businessman. He’s assaulted as a result of the mistaken identity, and seeks restitution. Finding himself commissioned to secure the release of the real ‘Big Lebowski’s’ wife, ‘The Dude’ and his friend Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) endeavor to keep the ransom money for themselves.
QUOTES:
“The Dude abides”
“Donny, you’re out of your element” “Shut the fuck up, Donny!”
“Yeah, well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man”
“I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man”